A Humorous and Heartfelt Wedding Speech
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I would like to start by thanking Frank on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind comments and echo the fact that they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. In fact, just before the service I overheard a furious sisterly argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. Understandable, I thought - until I got closer and heard them saying, 'You!', 'no, you!'
I've known Frank for the best part of 20 years now and of course there are plenty of things I could tell you about what we got up to in our younger days. Unfortunately, I did consult my solicitor and he tells me that we could still face prosecution, so ...view middle of the document...
We grew up in the same road and I fondly remember some of our childhood highlights were playing cowboys and Indians. Everybody's porch down the street fulfilled a different function. Mine was the bank and, tellingly, I now work for Lloyds. And yes, that's right - Frank's porch was the saloon. Another popular game was ‘Hide and Seek’… although Frank was a little bit tubby in those days so all he could play was ‘Seek’.
Frank’s favorite pass time though was reading Mr. Men books. If you know Frank well, you should be able to guess which Mr. Man he now most takes after, and its not Mr. Messy, Mr. Bump or Mr. DirtRingo. For those of you on Lisa’s side, I’ll give you a couple of clues. Think of the Mr. Man who after five pints of Stella can communicate only by winking his right eye, is addicted to playing fruit machines in pubs and likes to have sausages and bacon for his Sunday breakfast.
That’s right you’ve guessed it, the Mr. Man Frank most takes after is Mr. Winky Eye Fruit Porker… available in all good bookshops.
In all sincerity, Lisa, if Frank is half as good a husband as he has been a best friend to me, then you will have left here with a man that epitomizes honour and respect both for himself and those he loves. So take good care of him, because just as he is in your heart, your soul mate, he is, in my eyes, my soul brother and soul friend.
And you, Frank, the first time I heard you say that you were getting married I thought that it would change things between us. And it has, but in a way that has brought us even closer together. I am, however, extremely jealous of the fact that you have found someone as beautiful, kind and as loving as Lisa.
Ladies and gentlemen, would you please raise your glasses and join me in a toast to the happy couple.
To all the days from here and after
May they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter.
To the bride and groom.