CHICKENS OF THE SEA
Not long ago, a friend once told me that he heard Jessica Simpson say on television, that a brand of canned tuna called “Chicken of the Sea” literally means, chickens that live in the sea. As we all know chickens cannot naturally live in the sea due to their physical deficiencies in water. In other words, the only way chickens could live under the sea is if the company invested billions into undersea chicken farms. For example, They could build giant undersea domes just like Sandy Peaches, in the hit kids television show “Spongebob Squarepants”. Furthermore the labeling itself states quite clearly that the food product contained in the tin is in fact tuna. Now, if the ...view middle of the document...
Consequently, making it impossible for a chicken to even go underneath water, due to its buoyancy properties. Not to mention the fact that their feet are not optimized for pushing water away therefore making them slow and easy targets for predators. In which case, duck feet would be perfect for this problem because they contain webbing which gives their feet more surface area to propel themselves through the water. Also chickens eat worms and bugs that live on land, so what would they be able to eat under water that would satisfy their daily nutritional requirements? One idea would be that they could eat sea cucumbers, because these sea creatures contain vitamins and are easy to eat on account of their soft bodies, but that would be ridiculous.
Second, just by observing the label itself, you can see many clues that lead to the conclusion that the product inside is indeed tuna, or at least a fish product. A label can contain valuable information, such as nutritional facts. When you look at the label you can clearly see the word “tuna” printed on the front, and again in small print stating that this tuna is “the best tuna”. The label also claims that the product inside is full of “heart healthy omega 3” and to my knowledge, chicken does not contain omega 3, or at least enough to make it something to advertise. A quick initial glance at the ingredients list, shows that tuna is listed as the main ingredient, while chicken is nowhere to be found. Another clue is that
Shim Pg. 3
chicken, usually is not packed in small tins, as this would be an inefficient way of packing chicken. To be honest, I have never seen chicken already cooked and canned in a tin; they are usually always raw and packed in styrofoam plates with plastic wrap.
Third, if you were Jessica Simpson and thought...