Coming Out about my Sexuality
I have always felt differently about my sexuality growing up. We always hear “a man is supposed to be with a woman,” but I did not feel attracted to women, there was always this attraction to men. With me being from a small town, there was always this fear of hurting my family, so I kept it bottled up inside of me until the age of 16. Then I finally decided to tell the man that I Idolized most! When telling this to my grandpa he said “you can’t help who you have feelings for, as long as you are happy, you will be loved no less.” He then encouraged me to tell the rest of my family, and I did and of course, with mixed reactions.
Starting to realize the ...view middle of the document...
My grandma canned all the vegetable and made fresh dill pickles, with dill from the herb garden and cucumbers from the vegetable garden. She also made great apple jam! She taught me how to cook, and my grandpa taught me how to farm. I was always busy doing something. My favorite was delivering the babies. Grandpa would always fertilize the heifers, horses, and sows, so that when I came up there was always something being born while I was there to help him. He was starting to get to the point where he needed help with calving. It may sound easy, but it was very hard to pull a calf out of a heifer.
I will never forget the day, It was August 17, 1991, and I was about to go home. I usually left the week of the 22nd, which is when we generally went back to school. It was about 2:30 A.M., when I heard my grandpa say “Travis you need to get up, Betty has been in labor all day and will need our help, and it’s about time, her sac is hanging out.” Well I knew that she was in labor, I knew how to tell. I also knew that Betty needed help; she always has ever since I could remember grandpa getting her. I think he kept her just so he and I could have time to bond and talk.
My grandpa had cameras posted out in the nursery barn, so he could watch the animals that were about to give birth, to make sure none of the animals were having trouble. I got up, got dressed, and we headed to the nursery barn. It would be no time now before we would have to reach in and tie rope to the calf’s feet and start pulling. We were sitting on the chairs in the room watching Betty, timing everything she did, when I said “grandpa, there is something I need to tell you, I hope it doesn’t change the way you feel about me, but I have been keeping this a secret for so long and I don’t know who to talk to.
” He said, “Travis what is the problem.”
I said “grandpa, I am different from James, Daniel, Justin, Adam, Shannon, etc. (those are my cousins, except for Shannon he is my brother).”
He said “what do you mean.”
I said “grandpa, I think there is something wrong with me, I don’t like to be with women, I am not attracted to women, I am attracted to men, and I think I am gay.”
He said, “Travis I have suspected this for a couple years now, we hear you on the phone at night when you think we are sleeping, I don’t care if you are gay, there is nothing wrong with you! You are my grandson and I love you no matter what, now come on, it’s time, Betty needs us.”
I was startled and said “ok”, and started to help tie the rope and pull during contractions. We finished that night and put all the supplies away, I did not bring it up anymore and neither did he. He gave me hug as usual before I went to bed, and when I got up the next morning my grandma and grandpa were sitting at the kitchen table drinking there coffee and smoking like every morning. I got up went in and sat down at the table, and my grandma said,
“Honey what do you want for breakfast,”
I said, “I really wasn’t that...