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Consent And It's Place In Sm Sex

1553 words - 7 pages

At first the sting of the whip, and the reddening of her ass felt wonderful, but Carrie knew that the pain would soon become unbearable, despite her stating 'refrigerator,' her 'safe' word. . .Carrie's example shows us how important consent is in SM, or rather sado-masochism sex play. The most obvious reason consent is important in SM play is the risk of injury and the potential for unwanted danger is avoided. In addition, with understood consent, trust is developed, making the experience more enjoyable to the participants. Reasons for non-consenting play do exist, however these occur only under certain circumstances.When dealing with SM, there is a greater risk of injury and of danger than ...view middle of the document...

There is a conscious giving of consent. A SM rape scene, must have a great deal of consent. Many men (and some women) seek out professional Mistresses, Masters, submissives, or someone who has revealed a want or need to experience what they themselves enjoy. Someone whom they are pretty much assured that there will not be trust problems, for example a revealing of identities, as in the case of a high profile person. Also the play is generally a place of comfort to experience what they truly enjoy and possibly can not in their 'real' life. With this type of relationship the trust often needs to comes close to intuition coupled with a little time sharing what each will and won't do. Consent to some degree is already given, yet even here it needs to be established. The real difference is that play is often so removed from participant's lives that it no longer affects their normal life. They are not laughed at for wanting to choke on a beautiful women's high heel, whereas their spouse would not hesitate in calling a mental hospital at the mere mention of the thought. Disaster can still occur, for a 'scene' cannot be written with a signed approval (it can but the enjoyment that can only be found in spontaneity, would definitely be lost). Yet, this very factor creates the potential for millions of things to go in a direction unsafe for the people not directing the action.In any sexual engagement, my ultimate satisfaction comes from bringing my partner to a most gratified state. To have him or her look at me with their eyes begging for more without sound is indescribable. Knowing that they are there for me; knowing that what I need for the scene to be great is a pushing of thresholds more than ever thought possible and 'going there'; knowing that what I need for the session to go well has been taken care of; these are a few of my needs. Checking that I and anyone involved is in a good place is very important for me. This includes an age check. Laws have been established in this country to protect children from harm for they cannot 'give' consent. Yet there are many adults who, although they are well into adulthood, are unable to figure out and accept the responsibility of personal consent.If Carrie had a partner who was aware of her needs and the established 'safety' word she would not dread another scene in which she was disrespected. Each a bottom and top hold powerful positions to control what occurs in a given scene. Yet if a top, the dominant one, does not heed the warning from their trusting subject than they might find themselves without a partner very soon. Safe words are used to add to the scene by having all those involved know that there is complete freedom to go any where until that word is stated. I have even heard of different levels and meanings representing different things , such as slow down instead of stop. This again allows individuals to explore and expand their area of play. To unknown proportions, often only in retrospect have I...

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