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Essay Exemplar

1976 words - 8 pages

CUE 2013-14 Written Exam Exemplar – Essay
Overall Strengths of this essay based on the following Assessment Criteria
Criterion 1 (C1): It offers a clear organization and cohesion, guiding the reader to follow
the arguments in the essay with an introductory outline that indicates stance, topic
sentences, summarizing sentences, references to previous paragraphs, linking devices, and
an appropriate conclusion.
Criterion 2 (C2):
It answers all parts of the question.
It shows a clear, consistent, nuanced and hedged stance throughout, and
acknowledges the complexity of the issue and limitation of arguments.
It supports relevant arguments by integrating various types of appropriate
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Such an interest is generated
from the expectation that internationalization at Hong Kong universities will help to achieve
the objectives of fostering global citizens and enhancing the global status of tertiary
institutions in Hong Kong. However, some have criticized the internationalization of Hong
Kong universities for the unequal support of some disciplines over others and the increase in
cultural homogeneity in education at the universities. Focusing more specifically on the
University of Hong Kong (HKU), however, it will be shown that the current level of
internationalization has had a positive impact and is thus appropriate. This essay will first
explain in detail the aforementioned objectives and criticisms of implementing
internationalization in Hong Kong’s universities and then move to justify why the current
level of internationalization at HKU is appropriate.
First, the implementation of internationalization in higher education allows students to
become better equipped for an increasingly globalized world. According to the Times’ Higher
Education world university ranking in 2013, internationalization in local universities such as
the University of Hong Kong provides students with many opportunities to go on exchange
programs with universities from many parts of the world so that local students are afforded the
opportunity to experience the culture of other nations, and thus, broaden their horizons. For
international students, they can also gain more knowledge about the local culture of Hong
Kong by participating in local activities run by universities; for example, those run in
residence halls (Chau, 2007). According to Dr. Lam (2004, as cited in Fok, 2007), through
internationalization, both local and non-local students can gain a more stimulating educational
experience and establish more interpersonal contacts with potentially important members of
other countries.
Second, the global status of the tertiary institutions in Hong Kong may also be enhanced
by implementing internationalization. Through the use of scholarships, academically excellent
students and academic staff from other countries can be persuaded to study in Hong Kong
tertiary institutions (Fok, 2007). By doing so, the key global rankings of such institutions can

Comment [k1]: C1: Introduces the background
and importance of the topic.

Comment [k2]: C2: Acknowledges the
complexity of the problem by introducing
perspectives from different stakeholders.
Comment [k3]: C2, C3: Uses expressive and
evaluative vocabulary to express the stance of others.
Comment [k4]: C2: Shows the stance explicitly
with evaluative vocabulary.
Comment [k5]: C1: Provides an outline/structure
of the essay.

Comment [k6]: C1, C2: Uses a topic sentence to
effectively introduce the theme of the paragraph and
the stance.
Comment [k7]: C4: Uses a variety of in-text
citation styles instead of merely (Author, Year).

Comment [k8]: C2: Offers arguments from...

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