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Final Reflection Paper

2640 words - 11 pages


BUSN 683 Leadership Developments
Dr. William Sparks
Ms. Jen Shoemaker
March 4th, 2015

In my opinion, this course was all about learning what kind of leader you are now, what kind of leader you strive to be, and how to make the transition from one to the other. I can still remember walking into the hotel on Friday afternoon to start our first weekend residency eight weeks ago. I went there feeling very self-assured, and probably a little arrogant. Never once had I questioned what kind of leader I was. I was strong willed, overly confident, and didn’t let people’s opinions affect my judgment. In fact, I thought that I was a really good ...view middle of the document...

I have been so caught up in progressing up the corporate ladder that I’ve neglected to do the actual job I was tendered.
On the home front, juggling my family and my career has definitely been a struggle. The phrase “a place for everything and everything in its place” should have been monogrammed above our front door ensuring that everything is kept in order. Our household is run on such a tight schedule that my children could probably tell you down to a ½ hour increment what they do on any given Tuesday. I kept telling myself that it needed to be this way in order for me to juggle everything that was on my plate. But what kind of life am I giving my children by doing this? What kind of example am I setting for them? Will they assume that by being a working mom it automatically means you’re going to live a stress riddled lifestyle with barely enough time to go around?
From my actualized leader profile, I have learned that my need for power is my prime motivator. The need for control and authority are two things that I can relate to. In my mind, if I have full authority over a situation, I can inevitably control the outcome. My need for things to be not only right, but perfect is both a blessing and curse. When I can visualize the desired outcome, I tend to have a one track mind and set a path on how to accomplish it disregarding all other people involved and other ideas that might be a better fit. This, I have learned, tends to create a dysfunctional and unhealthy dependency between the people around me and myself. Where I feel that I am projecting confidence and decisiveness, others perceive me as being arrogant and impatient. They tend to agree with me not because I’m right, but probably because they’re frightened to disagree. I see that now, and it is quite embarrassing to say the least.
Fear of betrayal is the shadow associated with the controller (power) leadership style. This was something I had to mull over for a while because I wasn’t originally in agreement with the assessment. I would have thought that what I was most afraid of was failure. Failure to meet the goals set forth by me as well as others. Failure to prove myself in situations that would leave doubt in my leadership abilities. Failure to have all of the answers, etc… Then after really thinking about it, I realized that no, I wasn’t afraid of failure. Even if I failed at something, I would always figure out how to turn it around and make it successful.
When I think of the word betrayal, I think of other words like cheating, disloyal, unfaithful, and dishonest. I was having a hard time putting that in perspective, especially when it related to my professional career. Was I really afraid of being betrayed at work? So I started asking myself what I would consider a work related betrayal and consequently, could I fix the situation afterwards if I felt I was betrayed? Betrayed; being stabbed in the back by a colleague, a colleague...

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