How To Win Friends And Influence People

1179 words - 5 pages

How To Win Friends and Influence people

This book was written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie. Some of the terms and vocabulary used are dated but the advice and information can still be used today. It deals with communication with others and the need for all parties to be able to perceive the objective from the others' viewpoint. The perspective of the book is from a position of power or management but it can be useful to anyone that reads it. While this book is useful, it should be remembered it was written during a time when the people in the workforce had a very strong protestant work ethic socialized into them. The book is divided into four parts, and they are:

Fundamental Techniques ...view middle of the document...

3) Remember and use a person's name. It relays a message. It tells people they are important to you. 4) Be a good listener and encourage other people to talk about themselves. 5) Talk in terms of the other person's interest. 6) Finally, make the other person feel important and do it honestly. The third section, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, has twelve principles. 1) The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. 2) Show respect for the other person's opinion, never say you're wrong. 3) If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically. 4) Begin in a friendly way. 5) Get the other person saying, yes, immediately. 6) Allow the other person to express his/her ideas or opinions. 7) Let the other person think the idea is his/hers. 8) Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. 9) Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. 10) Appeal to the "nobler" motives. 11) Illustrate and give examples of the benefits of your ideas. 12) Make the individual feel personally challenged to implement the idea. The last nine principles come from the final part of the part of the book, Be a Leader. 1) Begin with praise and honest appreciation. 2) Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. 3) Talk about your own mistakes before discussing the other person's. 4) Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. 5) Do not attack the dignity of the other person. 6) Praise the slightest improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." 7) Set a good example. 8) Use encouragement. Make the problem seem easy to correct. 9) Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Relationships are oriented toward reaching goals. The important thing to remember is everyone's primary goal in the relationship may not be the same. For example, in a work relationship, the employer's goal is for the business to be successful while the employee's goal is usually the maintenance and upkeep of self and/or a family. These seem to be goals that could be mutually satisfied but that is not always the case. If the employee's family increases and the volume of business decreases there will be a real conflict between these two goals. Sometimes, the only resolution is to sever the relationship but only after other options have been considered from all perspectives. I have learned an important...

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