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Humorous Wedding Roast – Why Would Anyone Want To Marry This Man?

667 words - 3 pages

Humorous Wedding Speech – Why Would Anyone Want to Marry this Man?

Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you have just got married to Charles Farrer.

Looking around this packed room, it's surprising just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free lunch. It's very fortunate that Charles was not involved in developing the menu; otherwise you would have been very disappointed to have come all this way for cheese sandwiches washed down with lager.

Oh well then, I’d better hurry up. After all, I’m supposed to, in good taste, put the groom down. So, minus the good taste I’ll get on with it.

The main theme of my speech is this: Why Would Anyone Want to Marry this Man? What is so special about him? Over the last ...view middle of the document...

It's easy to see from today that Charles, impeccably dressed, has always been an image-conscious sort of guy. You know, he once admitted to me that his favorite forms of entertainment were TV, Playstation and mirrors - in reverse order. He also very caring - when it comes to money. As he has often told me: ‘The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it back in your pocket’. But marriage changes a man and his approach to spending is shifting. Just yesterday, while mulling over a purchase, he blurted out, ‘Well, if you’ve got it why not spend it! I’m not extravagant enough! It’s a lot of money, but hey, you only live once! I’m going to buy this right now! I don’t care how much it costs!’ I was really impressed by this. And dramatically Charles threw the packet of Jaffa cakes in the shopping trolley and marched off.

But more likely for Sherie the reason was love. I mean, when they first started seeing each other Charles was a real romantic. He’d take Sherie to all sorts of places… although mainly pubs and bars… with his mates… where Sherie could watch him get drunk and fall asleep.

If the theme of my speech had been: why marry Sherie? It would have been straight forward. She is beautiful. She’s intelligent. She’s funny. She can cook like Nigella Lawson and she’s got the patience of a saint. Charles, I can say with my hand on my heart that you’re one of the luckiest men alive. And she writes a cracking best man speech as well.

Joking aside, it’s a wonderful honour being invited to share this incredible day as Charles is a very special person to me. He is a true friend who never ceases to amaze me with his kindness. He has listened to me through many a crisis. He gives without any thought of reward. He is a super guy and a role model of a friend. And yes, we’ve had our differences… but nothing that two lawyers and a high court judge couldn’t sort out.

I’d like to wish the happy couple well and toast their future happiness.

Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom.

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