Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
For the past four months I have been in my most promising relationship, yet. But sometimes things go nuts and it feels like there is nothing I can do about it. So I thought I would check out what goes into a healthy relationship. I found a variety of qualities, but I’ll keep it simple. Remember the 4 C’s. You must be courageous, care enough, communicate effectively, and be creative. Once you get these down, your relationship will be deemed healthy, by the relationship gods.
In an effort to overcome his fear of rejection, Jonathan Robinson (2001), a psychotherapist and frequent guest on Oprah, decided to plow right through his fear. He gave his friend ...view middle of the document...
I care about my girlfriend so much; I let us become friends for a while. She needed time to adjust to a big move and did not want the added stress of a boyfriend. I had to be understanding and supportive or I would lose her. As difficult as it was, I would do it all over again, if she asked me to.
When your special someone’s feeling down your attitude should never be, “I’ll come back when you are feeling better.” You should be the one to begin the healing process (Ten Ways to Keep Love Alive, 1993, p.114). I know it is hard, but if your mate will allow it you need to be as close as you can. Just being there will comfort them. How would you feel if your man or woman came by when you were in a bad mood, but they stayed with you the whole time? You would probably be thankful, a “good mood” feeling.
Whenever a couple gets in a spat, there is usually a breakdown in the communication process. This can take all forms. For instance you might misunderstand a word, a tone of voice, or even a gesture. The longer you are with someone, the easier it becomes to understand him or her. The mistakes will not be as frequent and you will be spending more time really talking.
One article goes on to say, “You should not be afraid to discuss matters that may create conflict. If feelings of anger or jealousy rise to the surface, maintain your cool and get them out into the open right away.” It is better to tell someone they upset you and talk about it, than to hold it in until you pop (Ten Ways to Keep Love Alive, 1993, p.114).
You need to be able to consider the other person’s circumstances too. Imagine your day. It went perfect and theirs did not. You have to be understanding and meet them on their level without being short yourself. You have to be their best friend.
One of my co-workers told me about how her boyfriend left a trail of Hershey’s Kisses leading to their front door. When she flipped the light switch, nothing happened. Her man unscrewed all the bulbs! His creativity made her happy. You could see it in her eyes as she told me all about it. Even little things, like scattering love...