Marriage Demands Toughness
"Marriage demands toughness, and toughness proceeds out of commitment. No marriage will ever be stronger than the commitment that serves as its infrastructure" (Neil Clark Warren).
Not too many of us, when we get married think that marriage will demand out of us what it does-a toughness to weather storms we never knew we'd have to battle. But that's a big part of what happens in marriage. We're often blind-sided by difficulties which require a real infrastructure of
commitment to get past the negativity that comes into our relationship.
This week we'd like to share with you on the subject of commitment in marriage which goes beyond the surface. Dr. Neil ...view middle of the document...
Partners with will power always adopt the second alternative. They wouldn't think of giving up. They're ready to go to work on the problem,
ready to do whatever they must to keep their marriage healthy for a lifetime.
The foundation of willpower is a set of marital promises. It is this set of promises that serves as the steel structure of every great marriage.
Both partners need to know exactly what they originally promised to each other, and they need to be currently committed to those promises so that their willpower will always be stronger than any opposing force.
Marriage doesn't just happen! It takes a solid set of decisions, a huge amount of skill, and enormous willpower. I contend that people in
extremely healthy marriages built those marriages just as you build a mammoth bridge or a skyscraper. They made their marriage triumphant
because they simply wouldn't settle for less.
It doesn't matter at all to them how much back-breaking work it requires; if it were necessary, they would do a thousand times more. Their willpower gives them this kind of toughness."
The problems for a marriage in this society are too demanding for out-of-shape marital players to handle. There are so many ways that a marriage
can be destroyed; in order for it to be successful, both marriage partners must be highly focused and highly energized. This focus and energy come
directly from a keen sense of the promises they have made. These promises must be as current as their breathing.
If these promises haven't been burned into their brains, the inevitable problems will roll right over the top of them. Their marriage will be
demolished. My experience tells me that a high proportion of married people are totally unfit to face complex marital challenges. Often, they
have become flabby from inattention to their original decision-their early commitment. They have done almost nothing recently to prepare themselves for the demanding events that are always lurking.
They're like tennis players who haven't played for a long time. When they face an opponent who is well-practiced and in peak condition, they get
slaughtered. They aren't ready! How come? Because no one warned them to stay tough! Why not? Because...