Alcoholism and how it Affected Me
I was 4 years old when I realized my mother was an alcoholic. I can remember walking home from school with my older brother just hoping she was not passed out already. I never knew how it affected me until now. Alcoholism is a family disease and most people don't understand what it does to a family, unfortunately I do.
My mother was a black out alcoholic and was running our family into the ground. She had a tough life and the only way she knew how to cope with it was through alcohol. She was a single mother of two. My brother James was 9 years old and I was 4. That's when I started to understand what was going on. He tried his hardest ...view middle of the document...
My mother had passed out right in front of me. She started to vomit and my brother laid her on her stomach. James, where is the phone so I can call the cops mom is going to die, I told him. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and asked me if I would please go to our room and turn the TV on. Thatâ€™s what I did. I could see the fear in his eyes and knew I should do what he said.
Later that night when my mother woke up my brother seat her down and asked her to please get some help. He then explained to her that he had to tell me what was going on and that she had a problem. That's when I walked in and asked my mother at the age of 5 if she would please stop drinking. Those words should never come out of a child's mouth. I did not completely understand what alcohol was but I know it was not good for her. My brother tried to make me understand that it was a problem that she had to deal with on her own but I was too young to comprehend the words that were coming out of his mouth.
We pulled up to my uncleâ€™s house and said our good byes. My mom was admitting herself into a 30 day program for alcoholism. I was so scared for her, but I know she could do it. Or so I thought. She only stayed for 17 days and then left. She was not ready to get sober and could not make it at the sober living house that she admitted herself to.
My mother met the man I call dad later that year. He did everything in his power to help her but knew that unless she was ready nothing was going to change. Her alcoholism went on for years. She was missing out on our childhood and had no idea. I tried to pretend that I did see what was going on. That's how I got through the years. I just put a smile on my face and acted like my family life was A-okay. My dad was my back bone. If I need anything at all I and it was in his power to give it to me he would.
July 27, 1994, I was 9 years old and my mother was pregnant with my soon to be little brother Jacob. For the first time in 9 years she was sober. She promised me that she would never drink again but as soon as she had my little brother she started drinking. Thatâ€™s when I lost all trust in her. Let me tell you itâ€™s the worst feeling in the entire world. Once again my mother was a raging alcoholic. My dad worked all day long so when I got home from school I would watch my little brother so my mom could drink. It seemed like every day...