Each of us has certain needs to be satisfied, desires to be fulfilled and goals to be achieved in life. When these needs, desires and goals are not active or when I donâ€™t perceive a situation in my external environment conducive to realise any of these, they remain in a potential form. This potential state of mine is otherwise called as my motivational state or simply the motivation.
When a congenial development takes place in my environment, I get an automatic start from within. It motivates or moves my action organs in working with it till my needs, desires or goals are realised. The motivation then gets expressed in terms of a typical behaviour in me. Further, for enabling my action organs to do that job with full efficiency in a sustained way till the end, I need to get enough energy supplied from within. The potential energy, which was locked up in my motivational state, gets ...view middle of the document...
The vehicle cannot move and reach the destination but the engine is getting hot and it is under stress. This is a period when I am also at my heightened state of confusion.
Of the various options, going for counselling then is more practical. What does a counsellor do? He will engage me in a conversation so that I develop clarity of my problem state in the discussion process, help me to locate all the needed resources which are already there within me, and finally make me prepared to use these resources to fight my own war and get out of the predicament.
Whom do I consider as the right person for this? First and foremost being that a person to be a counsellor should himself be first aware of his own strengths and weaknesses and can be able to laugh at his follies and appreciate his virtues. Secondly, he can empathise with me i.e. he can step into my shoes and know exactly where it pinches. Thirdly, he must hold an unconditional positive regard to me as a unique individual. And finally, he should be bold enough to communicate himself staying true to the kind of feelings he may be undergoing during the conversation process i.e. if he feels irritated, he should express it, if he is not understanding what I am saying, he should say so, etc.
Who can be a counsellor? From the qualities of a counsellor listed above, you may infer that anyone from among your superiors, peers and juniors can be your counsellor. More specifically he/ she can be your parent, priest, teacher, relative, friend, spouse, child, etc. If you donâ€™t trust anyone from this list, then you may even approach a professional counsellor.
When I say a professional counsellor, you may get a misgiving that whether you would not thereby be branded as a psychic case. Not at all. Only a person who has lost the capacity to do self-reflections on what is being said about or regarding him/ her, such a person needs to go for psychotherapy. Whereas counselling is for a person who has not lost this faculty of mind but finding himself at crossroads at some point in life and, therefore, is in difficulty in choosing a direction.