July 15, 2013
HR Integration Project Manager Memo
In the HR Integration Project Manager Memo, the Chief Operations Officer (COO), Hugh McCauley is writing to the HR Integration Project Manager. While I found most of the memo to be satisfactory, some basic criteria are missing.
Although the memo begins with an introduction, it does not appear that the discussion follows. The next paragraph reads more like the writer is concluding the memo: “I look forward to moving our organization ahead with more state-of-the-art technology in our Human Resources Department.” This sentence should move to the end of the memo.
The header labels of “To,” “From,” “Date,” and “Subject” (the term “Re” is used instead meaning reference) are listed. However, McCauley has written the ...view middle of the document...
Using an exact due date would have been preferable.
Because McCauley is the COO of Riordan Manufacturing, Inc., and his role is superior to that of the HR Integration Project Manager’s, the tone of the memo is formal. But he does a good job of making the project feel like a team effort with his sentence, “I look forward to moving our organization ahead with more state-of-the-art technology in our Human Resources Department.”
McCauley states that he will need a detailed project plan. He goes on to list the requirements of the plan within a sentence which could result in overlooked items. A bullet list would assist the audience in quickly scanning the memo for action items; hence, fewer mistakes or oversights made.
My Reaction to the Memo
One way to involve an audience is to use positive words throughout a correspondence.
Though McCauley uses pronouns in the memo, his words do not invoke a response from his audience. Does he expect the project manager to consider, confirm, and reply? We do not know because McCauley does mention a response in the memo. Furthermore, McCauley does not consider any questions or objections his audience might have. Granted, he is the superior employee; however, as a team he should be open-minded in regard to unforeseen obstacles and be willing to hear them out. To ensure no misunderstandings, a sentence like this could have been incorporated into the memo: “If you have any questions or concerns, please write me an email or give me a call before the end of next week, 14 September 2004.”
Overall, the COO did not do a bad job of writing the memo. The words he chose were positive and implied team work. He showed his audience how he or she would benefit. Nonetheless, with the inclusion of some criteria, McCauley’s HR Integration Project Memo could be improved.
Copy of Memo
Gerson, S. J., & Gerson, S. M. (2012). Technical communication: Process and product (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.