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Romantic Attachment Styles Essay

1064 words - 5 pages

Social Psychology
M4A2: Romantic Attachment Styles

Romantic Attachment Styles
The romantic attachment style that describes me the best is the secure attachment style. Up until a few years ago, my passionate affection form differed because of a previous relationship that was unhealthy for me, emotionally and mentally. Therefore, how I describe my current relationship with my fiancée is in the secure attachment style, which is a mature and desired style of love. As a confident mature woman my fiancée and I have the same feelings regarding our relationship with us both feeling joined, while allowing each other to be open in our separate views and ...view middle of the document...

Perhaps, I rushed the feelings of commitment and this would cause the other person to be afraid to become close to me (Kenrick, Neuberg, & Cialdini, 2007, p. 270). This type of attachment style is harmful to me personally because I always felt as if the issues that occurred in these relationships were my fault.
The way my current attachment style affected my current relationships has taught me to more confidant in myself and who I am, and that if I think a person cannot or will not love me, it is because of differences that cannot be changed, not because I have a problem with allowing them to get close to me. Although my father left when I was a young child, my mother and I had a very safe and authentic closeness to one another. I never worried that my mother would abandon or stop loving me and this is the main reason I feel as if I am the secure attachment style person in regards to my current relationships.
My friendships benefit, both the friend, and myself because I stand by them as well as they stand by me. We share a mutual knowledge that one can depend on the other and love each other unconditionally. The secure attachment style that I embrace, secure attachment, helps me to understand that remaining faithful to the same people that you have endured difficulties with gives one a sense of self-fulfillment and peace. I have friends that trust me with their life mistakes and their achievements, and they know that because I do not hesitate in how I love them, that they can discuss any concerns with me without fear of judgement.
For a child to change from being an avoidant attachment style to a secure attachment style we first have to consider the differences. The avoidant style attachment can be because the child displays a defensive disinterest, ignoring their mothers and rejecting their mothers’ love if the mother comes back following a momentary presence. The mother, if she does not supply the infants need for devotion and security is frequently the cause of avoidant children (Kenrick, Neuberg, & Cialdini, 2007, p. 270). If an adult were to find that they meet a friend or someone in whom they truly trust they can become...

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