Shakespeare in my World
These are the forgeries of jealousy:
And never, since middle summer's spring,
Met we on hill, in dale, forest, or mead,
By paved fountain or by rushy brook,
Or in the beached margent of the sea,
To dance our ringlets to the whisteling wind,
But with thy brawls thou hast disturbed our sport.
~ Titania A Midsummer Night's Dream 2.1
I first truly gazed upon William Shakespeare during college. I had to do a monologue of Joan of Arc from Henry VI part I. I remember wrapping my mouth around his words, tasting him for the first time. This had not been our first introduction, but it was the real beginning to the ebb and flow of our dance. I absorbed that ...view middle of the document...
I bathed in his thoughts and explored the length of his body. His words stirred in me like the flutter of an unborn child, faint yet unmistakable. He was mine and I was his, and I opened myself freely to him.
Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.
Fairies, be gone, and be all ways away.
So doth the woodbine the sweet honeysuckle
Gently entwist; the female ivy so
Enrings the barky fingers of the elm.
Oh, how I love thee! How I dote on thee!
~ Titania A Midsummer Night's Dream 4.1
I left my summer love behind in the dark, cool foothills and entered the claustrophobic world of Grand Central Station on a sticky day in August. The harsh reality of the world I had all but forgotten cuffed me in the face. Too many people. Too much noise. Too many faces with no expression. Where was my love? Where was my soul? He was packed up in my suitcase, pressing the wild rose my friend had given me as a remembrance into his pages. He was packed up into my collective thoughts as well. I found that everywhere I went, I searched for him. It did not matter where I looked; he was nowhere and everywhere all at once. I found his presence comforting and confining. Now I had a new responsibility, a new passion to nurture and nowhere to help it grow. Nowhere but in me.
I returned to my college and felt the way a young woman does after she has experienced her first love. I was quietly confident, secretly assured, and possessed with an understanding that this was what I had been born for. I was on earth to satisfy and be satisfied by one man. His was all I would ever need, and I would joyfully spend the rest of my days delighting in him.
How fickle the love of one can be.
What thou seest when thou dost wake,
Do it for thy truelove take;
Love and languish for his sake.
In thy eye that shall appear
When thou wak'st, it is thy dear.
Wake when some vile thing is near.
~ Oberon A Midsummer Night's Dream 2.2
Not long after graduating from college, I found myself great with child. It was not Shakespeare's. Somehow the intensity of life among others made him less recognizable. As the days piled up and the work load intensified, it became too easy to ignore my quiet, placated lover. His demands were few, if any, and I tragically brushed him aside for another, more present man.
Tarry, rash wanton; am I not thy lord?
~ Oberon A Midsummer Night's Dream 2.1
While Shakespeare seemed to passively let me go, his vengeance was brewing steady and deep. I never anticipated his quiet spiteful jealousy would turn me away. By moving off into the distance, he tempted me with another. If I had been in my right mind no temptation could have swayed me, but I was vulnerable to attack.
My mistress with a monster is in love.
Near to her close and consecrated bower,
When in that moment, so it came to pass,
Titania waked, and straightway loved an ass.
~ Puck A Midsummer Night's Dream 3.2
William Shakespeare - the great love of my life; I had betrayed...