21 September 2015
The Journey to a New Beginning
I am by myself wearing my torn blue jeans and an old flannel t-shirt like usual. It is cool outside, but I decided to leave my gloves at home feeling comfortable with my warm shirt and my old boots. Walking through my grandfather’s ranch, his spirt accompanies me at this moment. The breeze blowing across my face is the best that I can find. I take nothing with me when I leave my house because I know that I won't be gone too long.
It is early fall so it is cool outside but not cold. The leaves have begun turning colors so there is the beautiful colors like oranges, yellows, greens, and ...view middle of the document...
Some of the closets people that have crossed my life have said so many mean things to me. For example, my relatives would always tell me” I am not well enough for this world. It is like if I wasn’t meant for this life or if I just wasn’t what they had expected. But I do the best that I can do. I have a decent job and I attend a community college. I don’t care what people think about me. Being myself is ok and I know that someone special is out their waiting for someone like me. Until then, I’ll play to be the outcast. As I walk towards the lake, I see a bottle that is empty and crushed. When I see it I don't stop to pick it up, but I make a mental note of its location. I myself as the crushed bottled water because it has been left out and forgotten.
Once I reach the lake, I sit on a rock and watch the water move slowly and around the stones are leaves. As I sit there a deer appears on the other side of the lake. Not a buck, but just a standard doe. She walks down the side of the basin walls and approaches the water to drink. I just sit there quietly enjoying the peacefulness that makes both the deer and myself feel safe. I can see how calm she is and this is the only place that I’m not judged or feel left out of anything. After drinking, the doe nods her head up and then runs away.
After sitting in peaceful contemplation for some time, I get up and walk across the lake around it. Being no acrobat, my feet get a bit wet with the cold water. I continue along the rough forgotten path and reach a clearing. Since it is fall the clearing appears to be nothing more than an open field with tall grass. However, in the spring it is a wonderful garden of wildflowers.
Being here gets me thinking about the single element of change. Change occurs in many different forms and is carried out in many different ways. However, just recently, I have come to the realization that change can be the deepest of all subjects. I always assumed that change occurred when you moved to a new town or when you lost someone close to you. Those are elements to change, yes, but change doesn't have to occur over a single dramatic event. It can just happen overnight when your brain determines it's time to do something different. I was the type of person that I looked closely at what people thought of me. I always wanted to be better, but the more I tried I’ve never could please anyone. Feeling the breeze and the peacefulness of this...