Unwanted Intimacy Essay

1128 words - 5 pages

Make cancer seem like an abusive father.When you are told you may die. This was my lifeNo-one else seemed to notice just how much I was affected by this shadow in my life. I knew this thing I lived with was part of me and would be with me always. We learnt in school that if we believed enough anything could happen but I knew my case was different.To be only fifteen and already know my life partner could be seen as lucky but it is a curse. To have to deal with a relationship beyond my years is hard. I feel strained, lost, alone. He is always there, none of my memories would be mine without him yet I wish I could make him leave.She didn’t know what was happening, not really, but her love ...view middle of the document...

Either way soon enough we are back together once more, an endless cycle of pain and false hope.I met my future partner when I was just five years old and although it wasn’t love at first sight I have grown used to him over time, the unwanted intimacy, a reluctant form of love. He was there when I built sandcastles with Mommy on the beach, danced with me as I skipped in and out of playful wave, smiled with me at the antics of a curious seagull as the sun stained our skin golden.He was there when we blew out our ten pink candles and made a wish that he didn’t want to hear because it would mean leaving me alone. His heart beat with mine as I pinned the tail on the donkey, won the parcel, we waved my friends goodbye.He was there on my first day of high school, nerves in our stomaches, shy smiles and mad giggles. Kissing mommy goodbye with me, his hands held her tight mirroring mine. We got lost on the way to science, our hearts beating insane rhythms as we struggled against a mass of chattering students to whom we seemed invisible.Chemo was when he reared his ugly head. His short temper meant hours of painful arguments where I was battered constantly with his abusive ways, his insane anger. He would crawl inside my head and shriek and scream like a tortured beast until I thought I would explode with the noise and confusion of it all. It was his hands that lead to my hair being ripped out at the roots, stripping me not only of my thick brown locks but also of my confidence and dignity. He would slap me about with his cold words of hatred and his iron fist of disease until I grew weak and pale, a mere shadow in the world of the living. His cold distant eyes would watch my mother grow older each time...

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